"da gila agaknyaa....."

aaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh!!!!

saya dah gila!!!

gila apa???!!!

gila maen gemmm laaa....!!!

xdakk Owg swOhh maennn pOnnn!

tp sindri yg nakkk!!

fiuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

tp rsa lega..! sbb dpt rsa blk passiOn terhadap sesuatu!

waaaaaaaaaaakaka!

apa hang merepek ni haa..??

kalO gila nak stadi xpa gak..

waaahaha!

-THE END-

tOot..tOot..tOot... ~discOnnected~~

i guess tOday wud b the biggest part Of my breakdOwn thrOughOut the whOle experience bein here in 4-seasOned land Of kOrea...as i wOke up in the mOrning...i knew sumthin wasn't rite..i felt like sumthin was hitting my head...hurts badly...dats why i didnt get up directly..i cOntinued watching an english fairy tale mOvie On yOutube which i cOuldnt finshed last nite..didnt feel like mOving frOm my bed...i cOntinued watchin the mOvie until...until..until One phOne call reached me...askin me 2 get dressed n b ready..i tOt.."wat??"...then another phOne call..One after anOther..

im nOt really gOin 2 talk bOut the phOne calls actually..cOz sum1 might as well get hurt..

after i deal wif all the calls..i realized sumthin really was wrOng wif my bOdy..i started 2 feel excessive pain in the head,my eyes started 2 burn as if im staring at the pc mOnitOr withOut blinking,and my thrOat hurts like sumthin stuck tO it..the flOor Of my rOom was burning hOt yet i still felt freezing cOld..wats wrOng wif me? dis might just be the heavy heavy heavy highhhhhh fever~~i tOt...

while having lOng nice warm shOwer,i started 2 tink bOut my ibu..hOw she wud b very wOrry everytime i fall sick..and hOw my abah wud seek every remedy in the wOrld tO cure me.. ~Owhh hOw much i miss u bOth~~

One Once said.. "nOpe..dOnt call ur mOm if u r sick..u wud make her wOrry..really wOrry..n dat is nOt gOod.."

but hOw..? i never hide anythin frOm her..i need her mOre nOw then ever.. T.T

then i asked One Of my best fellOw..wat shud i dO..and he said.."gO ahead..call her.."

and i did..! hOw i felt sO much better after hearing her vOice sayin dat bOth Of them r dOin just fine..n abOut 2 hav lunch with sambal tumis...my favOurite!

One Once said, "u can tell me everything...dO nOt hide,please..im willing 2 listen.."

but wat shud i dO if everytime i tell him sumthing,thOse wOrds dat he dOesnt want tO listen,wud pissed him Off..?wat shud i dO if wat i tOld him will finally turns intO screaming n yelling..? dat aint sOunds gOod isnt it..? sO dats why i rather say "nOpe..nOthin..im fine" everytime he demands me tO say sumthin..

n tOday..yes im nOt fine..yess finally i fall sick..yess maybe..just maybe..i fall sick Of dehydratiOn due tO the excessive excretiOn Of water..frOm where it shOuldnt...

wishin fOr rain...

"국체 전화입니다...."

Owhhh..tu laa ropa2nya sbb hp haku bergerak2 ja dr td...adey!

haku taO...walO sehampehhh mana pOn haku rasa skang, haku kna gak jawab call tuu..

xkan laa nak biaq ja bapak haku call camtu kan...xbaek pnya anak...

tp..kalO haku jawab..dah tentu2 laa satgi mcm2 sOklan kuaq..aisey..!

aaahh...jawab ja laa mira...bukan mati pOnn..!

"assalamualaikum..! haaa dOk watpaa..? awat lambat sgt nak angkat? ni mak nak ckp ni.."

gulp! tengOk tuu! belOm sempat nak jwb salam lg da bertubi2 sOklan kuaq..kann haku da kata td...huhu!

1st dengaq suara mak haku ckp..."hai mira...wat apa..?apa khabaq..?" haku da xleh cOntrOl..xleh nak fakekan suara happy lg da...haku jwb ala kadar ja...sbb kalO haku try fake kan jugak mesT haku nangess On the spOt! tp mana laa haku bley sembunyi suma bnda dr mak haku tuu...awal2 lg dia da detect...

"mira...awat ni..?laen mcm ja bunyi..laaa pasaipa..?cerita laa, awatnya..?bukan Org laen pOn..kita dua ja..siapakah yg menyakitkan hatimu tu..~mak haku try nak wat lawak plak~

apa haku jwb..? "ada laa ibu..ada laa tuu kann.." pastu cpt2 tukaq tOpik! padahal Tuhan saja yg taO betapa haku nak nangess banyak2 kat mak haku tuu...cta suma bnda kat dia..tp xbOleh..mmg xbOleh wat camtu..nnT dia risau..haku xsuka..

"laaa ibu xsuka laaa mira mcm ni....mira slalu gelak2 jaa bla sembang ni.."

ni laa ayat yg buatkan haku lagi nak nangess... ibu..mira sihat ja kat cni..xdak apa2 masalah laa..

tp mira rasa mira da bukan anak ibu yg dulu tuu...mira rasa laen..rasa cam hilang sesuatu..

nak haku ckp cam2..? eyhhhh xbOleh laa...sO, apa haku wat..? haku sambung pangggilan tuu ngan gelak ketawa haku yg mak haku suka..xpa..asalkan mak haku tuu happy, at least ringan sikit rasa apa2 ja masalah yg ada ni...

then...after i hang up the phOne..wat did i dO..?

i wished fOr rain...sO that i cOuld stand in the rain crying withOut nO One nOticing...

Raya...!

putt: haaa...?? suma de pegi...? budak2 chinese pOn..? alaaaaa....! ktOrg x sedar laaa....handphOne plak silent mOde..! eyhhhhh sedihnya raya cam ni ja...! mira pOn tdO lg tuu...! huhu..!

kata Puteri Liyana yg sdg berdialOg dgn haida melalui talian telefOn..

haku pOn apa lagi...bertubi-tubi memaki diri sendiri yg sedap tdO x sedarkan diri padahal hari ni hari raya PERTAMA!!! s2pid mira!!! padahal pg td samimm da kejOtkan haku...! swOh siap2! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhh!!!!

pegang ja handphOne bersepah-sepah miscalled n SMS..! huhu! damnit! handphOne tuu vibrate ja..! dah tuu plakk tgh charge..xda kat seblah taim tdO..sapa2 call pOn mmg laa haku xkan sedar..!

huhu! itu laa cerita pagi raya haku...Owg laen sepatOtnya beraya kat embassy...ngan sOnbey kwn2..haku beraya laaa ngan sylvie n chOcO...beeble zulia n guling2..hukhuk! sebak!

sumpahh haku teringat bapak haku..n cara beliau kejOtkan haku tiap pagi raya..*haku x pernah suka beliau kejOtkan tdO* bajet arr....haku kalO kat msia...mlm raya xpnah dpt tdO..bz ja..mcm2 bnda haku nak kna wat..decO umah..biskut xsempat bakar..kek x siap...urghhhhh! lepas subuh laaa haku dpt rest kejap...tiba2 kul 7++ bapak haku dah bisin2...

"Oii....!anak dara! bangOn laa..! apa ni pg2 raya tdOq sampai tgh hari ni...bangOn2!!p tOlOng mak tuuu...sapu sampah kat depan..apa ni..pagi raya x elOk tdOq! bngOn!!"

kata beliau tanpa belas ehsannya...huhu! haku ngan muka blurrnya pOn bangOn laa jugak..

nak ja haku menjawab.. "alaaaa abah ni...mira dari semalam xtdOq dOk wat kja...abah xpa laa..."

tp sbb hari raya kann...hehe!

pagi ni mmg laaaa haku tringat kat bapak haku! daa xdak Owg nak kjOtkan...hukhuk!

abah, mira mintak ampun mintak mahap bnyk2 naa....mira taO..mira slalu saketkan hati abah..

kalO ckp xmaO dengaq..sket2 nak melawan...ampunkan mira naa...mintak halal makan minOm...laa ni mmg xdak Owg nak kejOtkan tdOq dahh...pagi raya pOn xsedaq paa..! T.T

i called my mOm...oOoOoopss..my ibu! she's been bz..yeahh Of cOurse..it's the Eid anyway..

dOesn't even have the time tO say.."have u eaten..?" sad...cause i always be by her side..but nOt anymOre..i can't barely see her smile...nOt even the pain i caused in her eyes..i wanted tO kiss her hand..and her warm cheek...wanted badly tO hug her...like i always did befOre...

ibu! i miss u sO much! did 'yOng' *eldest sis* take gOod care Of yOu..? i'm dOing fine..just fine..

thOugh i haven't been able tO wear thOse beautiful baju raya u sent me...thnx ibu! Allah will sOmehOw granted yOu fOr wat u did tO me... i miss u badly ibu!

lately im nOt feeling really well..
nOt tO mentiOn being scOlded several times..
and tO face all sOrts Of emOtiOnal breakdOwns...
i didnt ask fOr any all Of these...
but i tried..try sO hard that sOmetimes I even fake my smiles...
knOw that it hurts...but it Only hurts mOre if i aint faking it..
i wanna run..
but nO..i shOuldn't dO sO..
One keep asking me.. "dOn't u lOve me..?"
can i just answer it with a smile..?
why cant i?

lOve is sO nOt Only a wOrd...
it's abOut hOw yOu take care Of each Other..
it's abOut hOw yOu pleased One anOther..
and if u lOve sOmeOne..u will always keep hOlding..

dats why i wanna be lOved...
but the Only lOve i'm craving fOr is..
the lOve fOr ALLAH S.W.T..
cause i wanna be lOved..
by HIM...

a letter..fOr Mr.Hate..

dear Hate...

i'm very sOrry fOr dOing this

but i just cOuldn't help...

i've tOld u nOt tO stay

but u keep cOming back...

u didn't even tOuch me

but then yOur presence...

keeps me thinking bOut yOu

even if it takes all night lOng...

u did nOthing wrOng

except fOr sitting quietly beside me...

hOlding my cOld heart heartlessly

sucking every piece Of warm i have left...

dear Hate,

why dO yOu refuse tO leave..?

please..dOn't stay..

i dOn't need yOu, Hate...

dear Hate,

if yOu dOn't want tO gO,

let me..

i'll gO

the beauty Of sneakers....!

shumel? peliks? cunn???!!

haha!

pic ni da wujud lama dulu...

haku pakai sneakers pink!! haha!

tuuu ada haida n krun skali.....!

~ ni pic kasOt haku n mus!!~

~kasOt ku n haida!~

~haha!! pinky tuu kasOt ai dee!~

ni kOleksi beramai2..!

yg sekelat kat ats tuu kasOt haida, itam kanan 2 kasOt mus,

sekelat bwh tuu ehemmm..ehemmm...

yg kanan itam 2 kasOt aini..!

perrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh........!!!!!

ni lar seni kasOt namanya....

kat sini ada kasOt haku,mus,haida,hamizah n zatiey!!